Is it so unreasonable to want your own judgement to be, the good one… instead of the “not so good” or even worse, “incorrect”? Why do you have regular bouts of having this urge that is so foreign, so irrational to be the one above one another in the power dynamic belonging to our social context? It is a weird spite-driven feeling that is yet so refreshing to have to completely prove others wrong. Sometimes I can call a seemingly regular-conductive intellect a fucking moron, a shit for brains… did you get some mini-sticks stirred around your brain whilst you were a fetus? Was your dad also, an arrogant binaric-brained jackass going around who’s whole function is to make people look akin to an idiot? I have that urge too, you know. That prick who had the audacity, to have a mere disagreement that might have been, in his mind a “disagreement” but to me, a complete and utter paradigm shift in my stream of thoughts? I wasn’t rather… “enlightened”, or anything. My stream of thoughts merely was squeezed to it’s utmost narrow form of pondering… how do I make this being, who had the gall to make me waste my thought matter into proving him wrong, submit to me? How do I make this prick acknowledge that he shouldn’t have told me something I might have had the opportunity of knowing from another person, though potentially in the same pathetic manner… and make me re-assess myself and whatever my judgement of myself is? I know myself, why do I have to think about how much I do? Sometimes I wish I can just make the ceiling fall on every single person that moderately annoys or upset me, taking me and them away with me from the absurd that is this reality.
…or sometimes, I would manifest a fictional notebook in my head because the thoughts I have are too embarrassing to be even written and seen by my own physical senses. Whenever someone mildly stimulates my impulses, I’d go something like:
[………. shut the fuck up…………….. i wish i can just put this silly yet limp looking cock in your mouth, that way… you can probably shut the fuck up…………………………………..please…..just stop talking…………………………stop talking near me……………… stop letting my ears hear your nonsense……….stop talking in front of me………………..stop talking to me……………just stop talking…….in general.]
Aren’t you tired? Of listening to people who are supposedly “close” to you, or think that they’re close? Aren’t you tired of your piece-of-shit of a neighbor barging into your dorm every morning and having your usual white noise ruined? Aren’t you tired of listening to your overtly-masochistic-mean-spirited neighbor blast into your dorm to start word-vomiting his racist-slash-misogynistic humor disguising behind irony like a complete utter coward? And guess what. When I make a decently reasonable remark about it, they start using something akin to condescension or snarky-ness. They don’t want to reason with you, they want to be purposefully dense, their peremptory language is their biggest weapon for them to be comfortably hateful. They want to think of it as “normal”, because they are comfortable with their overtly-negative emotions. They don’t want to be uncomfortable with who they are. They don’t want to be comfortable with looking at themselves. They just want that dynamic, they are innately better than you. Hey, you will always be a dumb, stupid vermin/plebian/normie who don’t know anything about “the real world”, so I should be the one to keep animate my mass-manufactured mouth and rehashing the same tepid poetry of consumer-friendly information into my head, for the… 300,000th time. It’s perfect, because they strive for that dynamic… the words that are friendly for the masses… easy to listen to if you relax your stream of thoughts… so easily listen to that individual… even though he might be a sociopathic, narcissist, but he just said… something obvious. Therefore he is on top of me, regarding our power dynamics. He will continue to strive for that dynamic and establish less reason, more control… because it’s so easy to do it once you remove all traces of compassion that is left in you. Oh, by the way… you’re still wrong. Because I’m right.
[……….its good to be right, you know? if this piece of shit listens to me….. i can finally be above it. it will fucking listen , to every thing that i have to say, and it will slave away at my words. for fucking ever……………….fuck your existence…………………………….i hope you suffer for the rest of your life for being what you are…………. rot in the garbage can that is being with me…]
radcrim's textdump. 